Psychic Wars (anime)

To be honest, I watched it twice, and not because it was good; rather, because it is short (50 minutes with commercial breaks) and because it has nothing to do with psychics. Really, nothing. There isn't a single psychic in the whole thing. It's like being handed a Sour Patch Kid with all the sour licked off...I mean I'll eat it, because it's my favorite candy, but I'll miss the sour part and I'll wonder why people are licking things before they give them to me (don't do that). Although,I suppose this unfortunate analogy is even more inaccurate because this isn't a Sour Patch kid (pre-licked or otherwise); it's a bad anime.

So, it has nothing to do with psychics...or wars really. Here's what it does have to do with: demons, nurses, curses (rhymes!), tiny headed men in very large suits with wide shoulderpads, really awkward English dialog and a plot that was both predictable and confusing at the same time.

Now, at times when I am confused by anime, for instance FLCL (I'll talk about it later...I'm so confused!!), I suspect that there is something lost in the translation, or some cultural theme that a native Japanese viewer might have which I, sadly, do not. This is about demons though, and (nerd-confession) I am pretty well informed for a gai-gin, because I have read some traditional mythology (in translation) and I tend to be a research junky. I did recognize some of the Oni (demons) in the story as being traditional to Japanese culture. And I was still confused by all of it. ALL OF IT!

Now, it could be that I am missing something, OR it could be that the thin plot was just a vehicle for demon fighting, intense wind storms, exploding shirts (you know what I mean) and exorcism rituals. I suspect that the latter is more probable. Not that I'm so clever, but that this plot was extremely undeveloped and stilted. 50 minutes of mostly fight scenes, windy forest scenes, and a unlikable main character who doesn't seem to care that his "quest" makes no logical sense. It's also one of those anime that you see coming from a mile away...I predicted the conclusion after the first ten minutes and then hoped for something surprising which failed to arrive. I give this a BLARGH! Although, if you'd like to buy it Amazon (click link above) has it for $22 dollars. That's the bargin price of 44 cents per minute...and that is the most surprising thing I can say about Psychic Wars.

OURAN update

Now, I know Ms. Shakespeare doesn't follow the manga of Ouran High School Host Club, but I do...and I have to admit my smitten-kitten-osity. The lastest issues of Ouran and the latest (hush-hush) fanslations of the newest chapters from the Japanese Magazine LaLa are heartnumbingly fabulous. The love and family conundrum is being brought to a head, and the characters keep getting more and more interesting. For chapters through 78, go visit SpectrumNexus, or wait (more patiently than I can) for the US releases. I am doing both. I read chapters as fast as I can, but I go out an purchase the manga as well.

Nothing makes me feel half my age half as fast as Ouran.

Vampire Wars (CRAPPY anime)

Absofuckinglutely horrid. Some of the worst crap I have ever seen...and I'm not saying that lightly. Really. You know how some really, really bad things are so bad they're good? Well this isn't. This is just bad, so I will provide a list of reasons for you potential viewers who may stray across this atrocity on Syfy's "Animonday" or it's bastard love-child, "Chiller"

Reasons not to watch Vampire Wars"
1. What IS that animation style? Vampire wars is 1991, and yet if feels like 1984...Voltron-Style.
2. Ultra-violence, and not in a "wow, hahahah, look at that" way. Just bloody randomness...and a lot of GIANT caucasians.
3. If you like your vampires mixed with non-badassedness, and international espionage (sort-of) and a lame sub-plot about a famous actress (Am I remembering that right? Because I think I zoned out there in the middle.) then this is all for you.
4. Someone on said this was "sexy," and I have to wonder what they consider sexy...really. Vampires haven't been this neutered since they sparkled in a meadow and lectured high-school girls on the virtues of "saving it for marriage."
5. Even Anime News Network is confused about the plot. I thought it took place in Paris, and they claim it takes place in the Rural American West (is that a place?). And yet it begins with a French secret service agent found face-down (and appropriately drained of blood) in the Seine. I'm confused.
6. This OVA is based on a series of ELEVEN (that's right) novels of the same name written by Kiyoshi Kasai (according to Wikipedia...which is (ahem) always entirely accurate). I hope this isn't true. Or, I hope that the anime is the travesty I feel it might be.
7. I don't even remember how it ended. Go read some Anne Rice (I recommend

Memnoch the Devil) then bask in the warm glow of how terrible/lovely vampires used to be.